Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do many women in Turkey prefer to date blacks as a lover?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Do you love fat pussy?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Scientists Uncover “Alien” Chemistry Under Earth’s Largest Lithium Deposits - SciTechDaily

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Unrecognizable Kayla Harrison speaks on making 135lbs for first time in career at UFC 316 - Bloody Elbow

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

PS5 shooter goes from 5 players to bestseller after devs defend game - Polygon

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Tom Cruise Reportedly Tried to Recruit This ‘Weak-Minded’ Celebrity Into Scientology, per Resurfaced Reports - SheKnows

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When do you feel most peaceful ever?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Lexi Wood Exits Bravo’s ‘Summer House’ After 1 Season - Deadline

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Can Djokovic climb the mountain? - Roland Garros

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Sorry, Trump supporters, but eventually it will have to be asked: Why didn't Trump do as well in his first term as he is doing NOW?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Don’t Try Flying With Erewhon Sunflower Seeds - The Cut

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Can you provide a list of cities named after animals and the animals they were named after?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can read

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability